It took a lot of research, but we were able to uncover the truth.
The only difference between a college student and an alcoholic… is timing.
“Men are not free when they are doing just what they like. The moment you can do just what you like, there is nothing you care about doing. Men are only free when they are doing what the deepest self likes.
And there is getting down to the deepest self! It takes some diving.”
I was never a fan of Lamborghini Mercy but I am now a fan of Lupe’s track
He’s android-perfect, a video-game avatar of a quarterback. Last year Cam Newton busted NFL records, threw for a historic 4,051 yards, and fulfilled all the promise of his number-one-draft-pick hype. And that was just his rookie year. This season? Prepare to be entertained.
When he finally calls uncle, unable to go any more, he tears the mask off, his face a mass of sweat and spit.
“Thirsty,” he manages to gasp. There’s a flurry of activity from the various PR people.
Someone rushes in with a frothy protein shake, but Cam brushes it away.
“Are you sure you don’t want one of these?” somebody says significantly, pressing a carton of Gatorade 03 into his huge hand.
Newton looks down, then up at the room of expectant faces, all the cameras. Over his shoulder, printed right on the wall, are the words “03…consumed shortly after training and competition will promote protein synthesis and glycogen restoration.”
A big, brilliant smile splashes across his face.
“Well, yes, I do!” he says, and takes a big slug.
Women may be able to fake an orgasm… but we can fake a whole relationship
Keep bangin hard bro, assert dominance over the neighbors.
A morning in the life of a currently unemployed college student during the summer, who happens to be single, usually goes a little like this.
- wake up
- curse the fact that you have to wake up (no matter the time)
- check phone for notifications, read a few drunk texts if youre lucky
- take a piss
- check facebook or twitter to see what interesting shit has/is/will go down.
While partaking in #5 this morning I found myself very disinterested in Facebook (might have to do with the explosion of engagement and baby pictures) so I turned to the normally reliable Twitter… only to be disappointed again. This definitely had to do with the fact that the girl Im currently infatuated with constantly complains about her asshole ex by tweeting. Yes we get it incredibly attractive blonde girl, he cheated on you… why? hell if I know.. but get over it, you’re hot shouldn’t be that hard. If you need to get over him.. get under me (just sayin) But anyways… being that both my social networking sites failed me I was perplexed and thoroughly bored… until I remembered hearing about Tumblr. I quickly grabbed my laptop and signed up. Lets hope Tumblr doesnt disappoint me too.
Now that my page’s cherry has been popped, let the chaos begin.